A New Leaf

I'm feeling pretty good today. Things are starting to pick up at work, which means busier days. I'm starting in a new position ... a woman who worked in our department for 26 years is retiring and I put in for her job. It's going to be a lot of work, as she handled some of our largest accounts, but I'm excited about the opportunity. I'm also scared stiff. I only found out that I got her job Monday, and her last day is tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed and extremely nervous about next week. I know I'll get through it, but it's gonna be rough!

I found out yesterday that I won a first-place award from the West Virginia Press Association for the column I wrote when I was editor of a small newspaper. The association hosts a contest each year for all of the state's newspapers. I've done well in the past, earning a few first- and second-place awards for news, feature and lifestyle writing. And I've always been excited about them, because having your hard work recognized on such a large scale provides such a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. I work in an industry where recognition and appreciation are hard to come by, so it's nice to experience that once in a while. This year, though, I was even more excited than I have been about any other awards. I think it's because this time around, I was totally on my own with my work. I was editor of that rinky dink newspaper, flung out there all on my own without the benefit of editors, mentors or even close peers. It was just me and my words. And I won. Granted, it was in a small category of small newspapers, but still.

It made me realize just how much I miss writing. I visited the Web site of my hometown paper, where I worked for three years, and read a story about the awards they earned in the same contest. The staff has changed a little since I worked there, but reading that article made me miss it so much. I know it's crazy -- ludicrous, actually -- that I'm uttering these words when all I could think about when I was there was getting out. But miss it I do. I've always loved words, and I'm a much better written communicator than I am a verbal communicator. Always have been. Steve and I have most of our major discussions via instant messenger. It gives me time to really think about what I'm saying and actually mean, rather than just shooting off my mouth.

(I know, I know ... you're reading this ramble of a post and thinking to yourself "she's a writer?" Bear with me. It's late.)

And now, for a complete change of subject. I dyed my hair tonight. It's now a chesnut brown instead of blonde/highlights. I loved my highlights, but my roots were showing somethin' fierce and I just couldn't afford to have them professionally touched up. So it was me and a box of Loreal this evening. It turned out okay. I bought some new shampoo and conditioner in hopes my hair won't be so freaking dry. So now I'm dark and silky.

And on that note, I'm going to bed. Peace out, y'all.

Ahhh

It's 9:23 p.m. I'm lounging in bed, having just climbed out of an hour-long vanilla and honey bubble bath shared with my new copy of "A Wrinkle In Time." The fan above me soothes my ears and cools my skin, and there's a fresh bottle of water within arm's reach. I'm soft, quiet and relaxed ... and wishing it could last forever.

Kicking and Screaming

It's no secret that there are some rather interesting things taking place in my life right now. And by "interesting," I mean foreign and difficult. There are days I'd rather drive my car into a telephone pole than get out of bed. (Although how one would go about driving a car into a telephone pole without first getting out of bed remains unknown). I'm in the midst of a hard-core rebellion against adulthood, and it's quite simply driving me nuts.

But for every tangle I've encountered on this wicked, twisted road to "growing up," I've discovered new morsels of hope and strength. It's kind of like I'm living my life in a Super Mario Bros. vidoe game, where you obtain a new power after accomplishing some fantastic task such as stomping a mushroom or killing King Koopa. I haven't quite encountered the King yet, but I'm working on stomping the hell out of those mushrooms.

Steve and I attended the first birthday party for the daughter of a great friend and on the drive back we were talking about our lives a year ago compared to now. I asked him if he thought he was a different person now, and of course he asked me the same. I couldn't really come up with any answers other than the obvious: living in a new place, working at a different job, blah, blah. I could've added that I weigh about 15 pounds more but who really wants to talk about that?

I thought about it long after the conversation ended and I realized that I actually have changed in the last year -- and some of those changes are pretty important. So here they are, in no particular order:
-- Started graduate school. After nearly one year, I still have a 4.0 grade point average.
-- Started a new job. Two new jobs, actually. Same company, different roles. Found out today my role will be changing yet again ... this time we hope for the better! Details to follow.
-- Permanently moved away from home. Yeah, I'm only two and a half hours away from the place I left my heart, but STILL.
-- Met and developed good relationships with two of Steve's sons. This was huge for me. K1 and N were here for the summer, and I can't even begin to tell you what an emotional roller coaster that was. It was intimidating, terrifying and hella fun and when it was all over with, I didn't throw up. Someone give me a cookie.
-- Finished another year of successful tongue biting around pseudo in-laws. Another cookie, please.
-- Finally learned to maintain a positive attitude. Well, I'm working on it, anyway. Some days are better than others.

I've learned so much about myself and this world in the past year, and I'm grateful that I've finally reached a stage in my life where I can see the the hope shining through the bad stuff. I'm very thankful for the people and things I have in my life, and I'm looking forward to writing a post like this next year, full of additional accomplishments and blessings.