Bummed

Well, phase one is over. Steve is taking K1 back to North Dakota this weekend, and we're all pretty mopey about it. These past few weeks with him have gone by so quickly ... it seems like we didn't get to do all of the things we wanted while he was here. I guess we thought we'd have more time.

Steve and I had been talking for a while about the boys coming to spend some time with us this summer. It took months of mental preparation on my part, as I had never met, much less spoken with, either of them. I had no idea what to expect, and I worried that they wouldn't like me, or I wouldn't like them, or that there would be some sort of horrible blowup about me from their mothers. I also fretted about the simple fact that -- hey, Steve has kids! I mean, I obviously knew that, but I had never seen him in the "dad" role. There were definitely some jitters.

We got K1 first -- picked him up at a Country Kitchen restaurant on the BFE side of Wisconsin. It was a bit awkward, what with it also being the first time I met Steve's ex-wife. I kept my mouth shut for lack of knowing anything intelligent/appropriate to say, while she kept her mouth shut for ... well, I don't really know why, she just did. Once we got K1 in the car and got on the road, things were better, though he was a bit sad at having to leave his mom.

An hour or two later, the two of us were getting along swimmingly. I think it had more to do with Ky's mad people skills, because I was still a nervous wreck. (I didn't want to mess anything up!) The kid has a way of putting you at ease. He's so damn smart and friendly ... he really is a special little guy.

Once he got me over my nervousness, we became instant buddies. There was one particular moment when he was experiencing some anxiety of his own about being away from home, and I got to help him through it. Other than the part about him feeling like crap, it was actually pretty cool. It was one of those moments when you realize that all the shit you've dealt with in life can actually be put to good use. It also sort of showed me what it's like to be a mom ... to be so concerned for a child, and the wanting so badly for him to feel better.

But now he's going home to his real mom. It's amazing to me how quickly you can start to love someone, even someone you've just gotten to know.

I'm really gonna miss that kid.