I hate Christians.

Reading the morning paper today, I came across this little ditty:

SPRINGBORO, Ohio (AP) — A southwest Ohio woman who loves Starbucks coffee has decided to drop the Starbucks habit because she was offended by a religious-related statement the company printed on the side of a cup.
Michelle Incanno, of Springboro, said she got an unexpected jolt when she saw the statement on a cup of coffee she bought last week.
Printed on the cup was “Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well be a figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure.”
The statement is attributed to Bill Schell, a Starbucks customer from London, Ontario, and was included on the cup as part of an effort by the company to collect different viewpoints and spur discussion.
“As someone who loves God, I was so offended by that. I don’t think there needs to be religious dialogue on it. I just want coffee,” said Incanno, who is Catholic.

Well, you know what, Michelle Incanno? I’m offended by you. Who died and named you captain of the morality brigade? Oh, that’s right ... Jesus.

Why is this news? Are we so sensitive in America that we can’t even drink a cup of coffee without calling a press conference to point fingers at people or companies who have hurt our feelings?

This Christian thing has been really bugging me lately. I have no problem with people believing in God. In fact, I believe in God, or a higher power, or whatever you want to call it. What I do have a problem with is people who cannot open their minds for a millisecond to even consider that someone else may have not only a different point of view, but a valid point of view.

I got really aggravated at Steve’s parents’ house Sunday afternoon because of this particular lady from their church who has appointed herself as their personal Southern-Baptist-Christian-Do-Gooder. Steve’s mom just went through six bypasses and this fruitcake didn’t want to let her eat before the preacher (Steve’s dad) “blessed the food.” As if not thanking the Lord for the fatty fishsticks and baked potato (which are NOT on the healthy heart OR diabetes diets) would result in certain and immediate damnation.

(I have my own theories as to why this lady is hanging around their house so much, and believe me, her motives are nowhere near helpful and Christian. But that’s another story.)

This crap borders on insanity. A guy Steve works with (who happens to be a Morman layspeaker) told him a few weeks ago that the rock music that Steve listens to (on regular-format, FM radio, i.e. censored) “hurt his spirit.” WTF?

Steve told me a story about a conversation his dad had with his ex-wife. His dad made some comment about her needing a good, Christian man to help her raise the boys. She told him that she didn’t want a Christian raising her kids. Now, we all know I have issues with the whole ex-wife thing, but I totally respect her for saying that. I think we may be more alike than we know.

I wholeheartedly buy into spirituality, and I’m a big believer in “what goes around comes around.” As in, whatever thoughts, feelings and actions you send out to the universe are returned to you. Karma. Karma Chameleon. You get the picture. I suppose what I can’t figure out is how an entire body of people who are supposed to exude love, kindness and forgiveness instead use their faith as a platform for hypocrisy and judgement.

I believe, but I don't want to be associated with all that Bible-thumping nonsense. From this point on, I no longer classify myself as a Christian. I am hereby “Other.”